When You’re Over It
6 year old me right after getting my ear drops
One of my earliest memories is of the yucky taste of liquid antibiotics for chronic ear infections. I also remember lying on the floor so my mom could administer ear drops Perhaps due to medication fatigue, every morning when my mom gave me a Flintstone multivitamin, I hid it under my bed. Eventually she found many months worth of hidden vitamins (not the sneakiest hiding place, I guess 🤷♂️)
I was born into a sensitive body and have experienced various kinds of illness and pain intermittently throughout my life. Sometimes I feel over it. Sometimes I just want to eat a favorite food or do a fun activity that triggers migraine. It is common for chronically ill people to feel sick and tired of being sick and tired. It gets exhausting taking medications, attending medical appointments, trying new treatments and feeling disappointed, dealing with side effects, managing disability and health insurance paperwork, etc. And yet, this may be what is required to have as much wellness as possible.
I wish I could tell you I have cracked the code on how to maintain motivation for all the self and medical care. Over it can be a frustrated resignation. An eye roll at life. A throwing the hands up in the air and shutting down when something is too much to feel. When I dig deeper, I often find one of these experiences underneath that needs my attention:
Exasperation or overwhelm - "This is all too much"
Powerlessness, helplessness, or futility - "I don't have the power to change this"
Grief - "I'm so sad about what I can't do or what I've lost"
Befriending the feelings of helplessness, overwhelm, or grief isn’t an easy or instant fix, it’s a doorway to deeper connection with myself in which I can approach my full experience with compassion and care. This process, I believe, is the pathway to rebuilding motivation.
When big feelings arise, we can do this process together, in connection with others who share our experience, to ease some of the burden of feeling over it. Here are my upcoming offerings:
Somatic Transformation Group for People Experiencing Chronic Illness and/or Pain
Thursdays, Jul 17 - Sept 18, 5-6:30pm PT
Weekly 10 session group covers topics including our relationship with the body, moving from isolation to connection, finding aliveness in midst of illness, grief and despair, resilience, and compassion.
Nervous System Regulation for Healing: A Somatic Practice Group
Wednesdays, Jun 5 - Aug 21, 5:30-7pm PT
Weekly 10 session group covers topics including building awareness of Fight/Flight/Freeze/Appease/Dissociate states, practices for regulating your nervous system, building safety and connection in the body, co-regulation, resilience, etc
To sign up or get more information about my groups or coaching, book a free consult with me today.
