You’ve Had a Bad Day
I met this goat at the Gentle Barn sanctuary while I was petting all the rescued animals. Apparently, he’d had a bad day and wanted to be left alone. He stayed in this position for the hour I visited the other animals.
I thought of him a few weeks ago when I had one of my worst migraine attacks in years, and I woke up the next day feeling absolutely ragged and afraid to get out of bed. Migraine often makes me feel disoriented, vulnerable and frightened. Eventually I left the house and went for my daily nature walk. The sidewalks were wet after an overnight rain, and I nearly stepped on a large snail sliding across the middle of the sidewalk.
Concerned someone would step on the snail and break its shell (possibly a projected fear based on what migraine did to me and because I have a bleeding heart for all animals), I moved it back to the grass and watched it move slowly for a few minutes, noticing all its details: the different shades of brown on its shell, tentacles, and the rough skin texture.
I spontaneously had the thought, “I’m so glad to be alive” and felt my whole body soften, which surprised me given my haggard state. I often feel delight and wonder observing animals, trees, and flowers and find they bring me back to aliveness when chronic illness snuffs out my life spirit. Sometimes aliveness can only be accessed by slowing down and paying attention to subtleties in the moment. These profound ordinary moments are sources of co-regulation, bringing me back home to myself. I’m not suggesting that gratitude and delight in the midst of illness, emotional or physical pain, or a run-of-the-mill bad day will be or should be accessible.
And yet, one of the promises of Somatic practice, of becoming more embodied, is feeling more alive - more grief, more anger, and also more delight and joy.
I feel everything more deeply, which ultimately makes the path back to delight more accessible. Even though I’m still living with chronic illness, the capacity to be so moved by life has made every day more delightful, a reality I never thought possible. How remarkable that dropping into an ordinary moment can beckon us back.
When you’ve had a bad day, what makes you return home to your own aliveness? I work with clients to answer this question and to increase embodiment so they can experience more aliveness and be more easily moved by life.
Check out my upcoming offerings:
Somatic Transformation Group for People Experiencing Chronic Illness and/or Pain
Thursdays, Apr 11-Jun 13, 5-6:30pm PT
Weekly 10 session group covers topics including our relationship with the body, moving from isolation to connection, finding aliveness in midst of illness, grief and despair, resilience, and compassion.
Pain Reprocessing Therapy and Somatic Coaching Sessions
I work with each client to identify what is most important to you, support you to take new actions aligned with your values and goals, build resilience, transform triggers, and address chronic illness/pain symptoms.
To sign up or get more information about my groups or coaching, book a free consult with me today.
