Cry, Cry Baby
As part of my health treatment plan, every three months I get 55 medication injections to my face, head, and neck. I dread these appointments because the shots are really painful and I feel very vulnerable.
During one month when the shots were especially painful, I started crying. The doctor seemed uncomfortable and said, “Oh no, I’m making you cry, I feel so bad”. She then started doing the shots very slowly, touching me as if I were fragile, making the whole excruciating experience last even longer. I tried to push down the tears and reassure her that she hadn’t done anything wrong and everything was fine.
Later I pondered the absurdity of this interaction and all the ways tears are discouraged or tamped down:
Be brave, don’t cry
Boys don’t cry
I’m not crying, you’re crying
Despite all this messaging and reinforcement, emotions are meant to move, and tears are the body’s wise way of releasing sadness, stress, etc.
After that appointment, I decided to let myself cry if needed during the injections, and I almost always cry right after, even in public as I’m exiting the building. I feel so relieved every time. Certainly not all experiences of tears are this straightforward. With big losses, the grief and tears can feel all-consuming and exhausting. Nonetheless, when we push down emotion, we are also suppressing our aliveness and energy that want to keep moving. Accessing to aliveness through crying or feeling the energy of other big emotions also means greater emotional range in general, meaning more joy, contentment, and ease as well.
So, if you’re feeling inspired, put on some Garnet Mimms (he sang it before Janis Joplin) and Cry, Cry Baby.
Having a safe space to access and release feelings is essential for the transitions of life and the stressors for illness, and coaching is a container for moving and transforming emotions. I currently have two openings in my practice and the following groups coming up:
Building Connection and Setting healthy Boundaries, a Somatic Practice group
Thursdays, April 20 – June 22, 6-7:30pm PT
Weekly 10 session group covers topics including building our capacity for mutual connection, setting grounded boundaries, moving from reactivity to skillful response in challenging situations
Somatic Transformation Group for People Experiencing Chronic Illness and/or Pain
Wednesdays, May 31-Aug 16, 5-6:30pm PT
Weekly 10 session group covers topics including our relationship with the body, moving from isolation to connection, finding aliveness in midst of illness, grief, reacting vs skillful response, resilience, and compassion.
To sign up or get more information about my groups or coaching, book a free consult with me today.
